Healing the Sister Wound: Finding Trust, Belonging, and True Connection

Understand Sister Wound

There’s a kind of heartbreak that doesn’t get talked about much. It’s not about romance or family—it’s the pain that can show up between women. In friendships. In communities. In sisterhood.

This pain is what we call the sister wound.

It’s the hurt and mistrust we carry from being disconnected, betrayed, judged, or caught in comparison and competition with other women. And it often goes unspoken because, in many ways, we’ve been taught that this is normal—that women aren’t safe with each other.

So, What Is the Sister Wound?

The sister wound isn’t just something personal—it’s something we’ve picked up from the world around us.

It stems from a culture that tells women there’s only space for one of us to shine, to lead, to be noticed. It teaches us to see each other as threats, not as reflections of ourselves.

And whether we realize it or not, that wound lives in us.

How You Might Be Carrying a Sister Wound—Even If You Don’t Think You Are

This wound can show up in sneaky ways. Here’s what it might look like:

You feel uneasy around confident women.
Maybe you judge them a little or feel jealous, even if you can’t explain why.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that bold women are “too much.” That discomfort can become our shield.
You’ve been hurt by female friendships and now keep your distance.
You say things like, “I just click better with guys,” or “Women come with too much drama.”
That distance might be your way of protecting yourself after getting burned in the past.
You’re always comparing yourself to other women.
You wonder if you measure up—especially when someone else is doing well.
Many of us grew up being compared to others, so it’s no surprise that we’ve learned to do the same.
You find it hard to celebrate other women’s wins.
Their success feels like it takes something away from you.
But that’s not the truth—it’s a story we’ve been told in a world that acts like there’s not enough room for all of us.
You don’t feel safe in groups of women.
You brace yourself for judgment, gossip, or exclusion.
When past wounds stay unhealed, we tend to expect history to repeat itself.
You try to hide your struggles to seem strong.
You don’t want to come across as needy or emotional.
You’re afraid your vulnerability might be used against you, so you put on a brave face.
You only connect with women you instantly click with.
You avoid those who feel “too much” or different.
This might feel like self-care, but it can also be a way to avoid the discomfort that leads to growth and healing.

Where This Wound Comes From

At the heart of it, this wound is a result of how we’ve been shaped by patriarchy.

We’ve been taught that feminine traits are weak, that we need men’s approval more than women’s support, and that only one of us gets to be chosen, praised, or seen.

We’ve seen movies and heard stories where women are petty, jealous, or backstabbing.

At home, we may have been compared to other girls—“Why can’t you be more like her?”—without anyone realizing the damage those words caused.

In some communities, this runs even deeper. Stories of older men marrying underage girls, or systems that pit women against each other for love or status, send the message that our worth comes from being desirable, quiet, and obedient.

Over time, this shapes how we see ourselves—and each other. It makes us wary instead of supportive. Competitive instead of connected. And it leaves us isolated, which makes us easier to control.

How Circle Can Help Us Heal

To heal this wound, we need new experiences—ones rooted in trust and community. That’s what happens in circle.

A circle is a safe, shared space where:

No one is above or below anyone else.
Every voice matters.
Vulnerability is welcomed, not judged.
We hold space for each other without trying to fix or one-up.

In circle, we begin to:

Notice and unlearn the beliefs we’ve picked up about women.
Let go of the fear that we’ll be judged for showing up as we are.
Rewire our bodies and minds to know that it’s safe to be seen by other women.

We stop trying to compete and start learning how to simply be—side by side.

The Power of Choosing Sisterhood

Healing the sister wound isn’t just about us individually. It’s about all of us—how we show up together and what we’re choosing to change.

Every time we choose to support rather than compare…
Every time we open up instead of pretending we’re fine…
Every time we uplift another woman instead of seeing her as competition…

We break the cycle.

We stop carrying the old stories.

We write a new one—where women trust each other, stand together, and shine without fear.

An Invitation

If you’ve ever felt that quiet ache of not fully trusting women…
If you’ve wanted to feel safe, seen, and supported…
If you’re ready to let go of the old pain you’ve been carrying…

Come sit with us in circle.

Healing starts when we remember—we were never meant to do this alone.

We rise together.